What I've Learned Moving Back Home
When we found out Andrew was going to be deployed, we decided it would be best to move in with my family for the extra support. It’s definitely different as an adult with a family moving back into your parents basement. Some things never change, but others things have… magnified. Here are a few things I’ve learned about my wonderful, loving, supportive and awesome parents.
1. They’re quirkier. Frankly put, my parents do well financially but my dad is very frugal about some things. He’ll sneak extra stacks of napkins at restaurants and use them at home. That’s not so bad. But he will cut them into squares to multiply FREE napkins. The best napkins are the ones in the bathrooms at Market Street Grill in Cottonwood. He’ll spend the $200 on brunch just to grab those amazing, thick napkins. (They are magnificent.) Sometimes he’ll even cut the thin ones but when I use just one, it disintegrates into my hands. So I use three of them and he asks, “What are you doing? You’re wasting them.” One night, I cut a napkin into 48 pieces. He didn’t find that too funny.
2. They love my kids WAY more than they love me. And it’s been said- to my face. Out of the blue, my dad said to me, “I love Chase and Grey more than I love you.”
“Love you too, Dad!”
Chase is their first grandchild and the craze has diminished but boy, was it real. My dad used to get mad at me for placing my infant beneath any light fixture. “That could fall on him!”
A few weeks before Chase’s first birthday, my dad proudly announced, “I love Chase so much, I would eat his poop.”
“Good for you Dad.”
“Let’s everyone, for his birthday, eat his poop. We’ll all take a piece and eat it together.”
“I think I’m good. I got him this red truck…”
“Well I guess I love him more than you.”
3. They hoard everything! Admittedly, I’m probably the messiest person I know. I haven’t quite figured out how people have time to do laundry and put it away… in the same week. But proudly, I don’t hoard. Please tell me why you still have a Star Magazine from 2006. Britney was pregnant with KFed’s Baby #2, and no, it did not save their relationship. They have THREE copies of the Book of Mormon, one in Thai. You are not Mormon. Excuse me- a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints. They have two sets of 40-year-old speakers they haven’t even plugged in, ten Furby’s (who remembers those?), about 150 VHS tapes, dried nail polish from 1998, about 43 bronze statues of animals, dead coral from the Caribbean, a model skeleton that’s missing a leg, hundreds of our dance trophies from the 90’s but they do NOT have a muffin pan or whisk! Please tell me why!
I feel like the older people get, the more quirks they pick up. Or maybe they’re just more set in their ways and care less about what’s “normal.” And it’s okay because you’re old! When I’m really old, I’m going to be that lady who runs over everyone’s toes with her wheelchair. I will take my dog everywhere he’s not allowed and no one will say a thing. I will go 35 on the freeway and be naked on the beach with my boobs swaying and chafing on my belly full of Cadbury eggs and sushi. And life will be great!